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I"M IN MY THRID TRIMESTER! Holy cow! Just the other day I looked at my countdown and I had 101 days left. I am currently at 86!!! Ummm excuse me, where did those days go???

My belly is definitly getting big. I just made a status on facebook where I promised to post a pregnant picture if I had enough people "like" my status. I'm so nervous! I hate the way I look. I'm trying to be postitive about having a baby in my belly, but I can't help but turning up my nose when I look in the mirror. I just feel FAT! I don't feel cute, I don't feel pretty, I just feel fat. I told someone the other day, what I would give for someone to see me in the store and say, "When are you due?" I just want to look pregnant!!! I'm getting there I suppose.

On a brighter note. Bella is still sleeping and it's 4:30! I love when she sleeps late for her second nap. The last hour or so we are together I feel like i'm always watching the clock! She is starting to show her personality and I must admit, I will miss her when i'm done. WHICH IS IN 10 DAYS BY THE WAY!!! I have 10 more full days with Bella. I can't believe I've been with her everyday since January! There are days where I just want to scream and others where I can just smile and really enjoy being with her. I can only imangine what it will be like with my own child.

With that said everyone keeps asking me "are you getting so excited??" I'm I allowed to answer with a H, E, double hockey sticks NO! I'm Scared out of my mind?? Is that an apporpriate answer? I should protably try and come up with something better! But that's really how I feel! I just can't believe that I'm going to have a child! What do I do with this thing? Of course I know to feel, hold, and change a baby. But what do you do when you feel like you have done everything and just want to pull your hair out? You can't just wait till 6pm when their parents come home. How do you handle the situations where you don't know what to say or what to do. I know I'm going to make mistakes as parents, I know my parents made mistakes too (yes, they aren't perfect... GASP!) but gosh it's just such a rude awaking. When you get married it's for the rest of your life, but you have been with this person for a few years so it's "easy" to transition, or maybe it doesn't hit you as hard. But having a kid???? It just pops out and all of a sudden your life is significantly changed forever!!!! Yes, you have to care for your husband, but luckly mine can bath, eat and change his underwear by himself! A BABY CAN"T! I am responsible for this human's EVERY SINGLE NEED!

Ok, so maybe I should just stop freaking. I think Bella has scared me! I'm not sure I was completely awear of what having a baby consisted of until I started watching her, and then... it was too late! But once I'm done with her, hopefully I can start finding my motherly side of myself, and start really bonding with MY child inside my belly.

Speaking of my facebook count is now at 11 people, and my status has only been up for 11 mins. O WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO!?! Looks like I'll be having a secret photo session with myself with weekend. Hopefully I can find something cute to wear HA! Just kidding!

I have a busy few days ahead of me started with a date night with Nick tonight. Nothing fancy just dinner, but we haven't been out to dinner just the two of us in a long time. Then spending the day with Jessica tomorrow, followed by some doc. apointments on Friday. Should be a good weekend. :)