I'm overwhelmed with thoughts, which is probably the case for my lack of keeping up memories in writing. I'm feeling extra guilty these days that I'm not writing down the little things Jessa does that make me the happiest mother on earth. For example: Jessa is saying "Thank you" which sound more like "Dank you." BAH! It melts my heart. Every time I give her a snack, or her cup, or unbuckle her baby stroller, or do anything she is asking me too it's "Thank you." It makes me feel like I won the lottery of kids. I really am so lucky! She may... dare I say it? Be the perfect kid! I know, I know, she has her moments where I seriously think i'm going to pick her up and throw her across the room if one more whine or cry comes out of her mouth for not getting her way, but seriously she's darn near perfect!
We just switched her over to her new room. I have taken so much pride in that room. I absolutely love the way it has turned out! Every time I walk in there I give myself a pat on the back... it's just really a happy room! Jessa seems to be adjusting great. We thought we could get away with not having a changing table in there, but it turns out we REALLY need one. That's about the only thing that I have overlooked. Other than that, Jacen's room is... not coming along at all! I've completely stalled after I got Jessa's room finished. I have a bunch of ideas, it's just putting them into play that makes it hard. I have scrapbook paper and letters all bought and ready to go for his name, and I have an idea of a few more pictures I want to hang in there, but it's having the energy to do it that I"m really lacking at!
I can't believe Jacen's arrival is less than 2 months ago. I having an extremely hard time wrapping my head around the idea of having two kids. My energy level is so low these days, that the thought of having to love another human being and take care of their EVERY need is repulsing to me. I'm extremely uncomfortable being pregnant, more so in the last week or two but having him inside me is comforting knowing that he's safe and not needing a whole lot of care right now. I don't know... basically I'm just panicking and it's not a good thing. I would say I'm in need of some big prayer right now, just to calm my mind and prepare it for another little person in the house.
I was excited to start writing in hopes I could get a few Jessa memories down, but instead my body is telling me it's time to stop siting in the computer chair. I will try again when my head is a little clearer.
