Peace

I feel like I should start this post out declaring my love for Rainbow Twizzlers. And before I shall continue, I need to get just a few more out of the kitchen! OK, now that we got that out of the way I can continue! :)

I just got done meeting with a friend for lunch that I haven't seen in quite sometime. I knew I would have a good time with her because I'm not sure I have ever not had a good time with her, but our visit was filled with much more than I expected. We of course were catching up with the basic "how are you doing?" I described feelings that my life was sort of turned upside down. For the past 6 years I haven't ever felt "settled." I went on to explain that I think the "20's" is the hardest stage of life that there is... but then I asked the question "Can you ever take a deep breath and feel content with what is going on around you? Does life ever slow down enough for you to feel truly content with yourself and the where your life is headed?" Even though I can't yet answer this question because I am only 24 years old, I'm pretty sure I have an idea how most people in every stage of life would answer that question.

I spent 5 years in college dreaming and wondering what my life would look like when I was "grown up." I got married in college, moved to Texas the day after graduation, finally felt settled and then up and moved 30 mins. away, started a job where I was gone for 12 hours a day, and then got pregnant. So here is sit in a gorgeous house, with a fantastic husband, a belly that is moving because MY child is inside of me growing and waiting to come out to be held and loved by me and my only responsibilities are taking care of my body at the moment. Sounds like a perfect life?? But somehow I find myself wanting more. More friends, more involvement in activities, more love from Nick, more feelings of excitement for the baby, more family that live closer than 1,000 miles away... more more more!

Nothing extremely specific was discussed during lunch with my friend and I, but as I got in the car to make my 45 min drive home I had an overwhelming sense of peace. Why do I loose this so often?

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them."
Isaiah 42:16

Why am I always so scared/anxious of what the future will hold for me? Why is the present never good enough for me? I'm striving to do my best, but feel like I"m always failing myself. Truth is though, I'm just fine! I have nothing to be worried or scared of. Ya I often "wish" I was closer to family and could experience the fall weather but that is not where God is leading me. My home is in Houston, my heart is with my husband whom I should be trusting as the man of this marriage. My love is with my unborn child who I KNOW I will be a great mom to! I may not have as many friends here as I would like, or my family close by but why does that have to be a negative thing? God will give me these things as he feels right.

"Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this"
Psalm 37:3-5

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5-6

I hope by writing this all down I can go back to this on the days I'm feeling unsettled and can remember I have everything I need to be content and happy laid right in front me. Stop Searching for More and More!