Attempt #2

The other day I wrote a letter to Jessa. I didn't like the way it turned out mainly because I think it was a little to mushy gushy for a blog. Then again I am her mother and am entitled to be that way. I am choosing to keep my first letter to her private but we will try again for #2 to be public :)

Dear Jessalynn,
Today is day number 16 of your life. I can't believe two weeks have past already since the time I first laid eyes you. You are getting bigger everyday, and while I'm so excited for the days where I get to play with you, and you can understand the books I read to you ,I am trying to cherish these squishy days as best as I can. Sometimes it's really hard because all you do is eat and cry, you don't seem to have many other modes to you. I often ask Daddy where your "switch is." I want to turn you onto happy baby mode where you look at me, smile and make my heart melt. It's not really fair to say that because every time I look at you, you make my heart melt. I love you more than you will ever know! (or until you have a child of your own, then you might start to understand, but lets not get ahead of ourselves here!)

It's been a rough few days for the 3 of us. Daddy is included with this because he has had to play nurse. I have a nasty infection from giving birth to you and the medicine that I have to take isn't very good for my milk. I spent all morning on the phone trying to figure out what was best for you because to see you not feeling well hurts me more than anything else in the world. Daddy and I came up with a plan that we thought would be best for you but that includes formula which is proving to be alittle hurtful to your tummy. My milk contains a medicine that hurts your tummy too so we are in a loose loose situation at the moment. The good thing about this is it is only for a week and we should start get back to a normal routine... or whatever you decide is normal for us at that time. It will just be the two of us during the days this week, so we will have a lot of bonding time to try and work through this crazy week together.

Each day you open your eyes more and more. Right at this moment you are sitting on Daddy's lap just looking around. There is nothing else in the world that we would rather look at than you with your eyes open. Your head is still but your eyes move back and forth like crazy trying to take everything in. Daddy and I know that you can't really see us that clearly yet but we love when you look at us :)

Today I dressed you in a cow print onesie. I'm wondering when the day will be when you ask me why in the world you had so much cow print stuff. :) I suppose I'm pretty excited for this day because I then get to share with you the story of how you came to be and I get to end with how wonderful a surprise it was to lay eyes on you and find out you were a girl!! Daddy was watching t.v the other day and I was rocking you in the chair next to him going on and on about the things I can't wait to do with you. Girls are so much more fun than boys! :) Going back to the cow print onesie, I also put pink zebra print socks on you today. Don't worry I didn't take you out in public, but I am going to put a picture of you up :) I felt like such a yucky day needed alittle spice to it and cow/zebra print sounded like the way to do it.

I must admit to you now that currently you are the source of Daddy and I's main entertainment. Sometimes when you are sleeping we making little "plays" out of you. Your limbs are limp and makes for some fun acting. Thank you for being such a great sport. With that said, we also gush over how cute you are about 23 hours of the day. I'm pretty sure every time we talk to each other the conversation always ends up being about how cute, precious, amazing, wonderful, pretty, beautiful, and perfect you are.

Jessa you are by far the hardest job I have ever had. You require so much attention, love and patience but it's something I would not trade!! Becoming your mom has been such a different experience than I expected and alot harder too. I worry about you constantly and find myself crying when you do because I just want you to be happy all the time. I love you more than you could ever know and want the absolute best for you. You are my little girl, and I"m not sure I could ever love anything more than I love you. I'm so excited for the days to come. I hope this week goes by smoothly and at the end we both feel great and have conquered our first big hiccup of life together :)

Love, Love, Love, (this is how I signed all of the letters I wrote to Daddy while we were dating.)
-Mommy

(Ps. Aunt Sarah is coming to visit on Friday. She can't wait to meet you. She has bought you tons of stuff including the Zebra socks you wore today, and the bib and the blanket you were cuddled in too. She loves you already but it will be so nice for you two to meet finally. You are extremely lucky to have such a wonderful Aunt!)