Can't Sleep

It's after midnight and i'm wide awake. I know I will be paying for this tomorrow, but I'm not sure what to do about it now. I figured I would come write, try and get some stuff off my mind and then attempt sleep again.

Things are good these days, almost perfect (GASP, DID I JUST SAY PERFECT?) I still don't handle living so far from family very well, but I'm finally realizing I'm feeling very settled here in Houston. Nick and I are working on our relationship and realizing that we will ALWAYS be working on our relationship. I also am learning to parent, the many "how to's" and realizing this, although very great, is a challenging task! Jessa grows more fun as the days go on, laughing smiling and showing her extremely laid back personality. I feel like life is so much in place for us right now. Things are good, they are very good! :)

...except...My Weight. It sucks! I've lost 20lbs since March and although some would say this is a huge accomplishment, I feel like a failure. I have so many great tools, tools i'm PAYING for... and i'm not using them! Why am I doing this to myself? I want this weight to come off so easily. It's almost like I'm "wishing" my weight away. HELLLLLLLLLLLLO, EARTH TO DAYNA! That's not how it works! I feel like I get my head on straight, tell myself I"M GOING TO DO THIS, get all excited and BAM! sabotage myself. Whether it's not planning and going out to eat, or buying a package or Oreos, or drinking a Large McDonalds Coke... 2 days in a row. It's always something, and it doesn't just stop there. I made a promise to myself that I'm not going on birth control until i'm 30lbs lighter than when I got pregnant with Jessa. Well folks, I'm finally back down to my pre-pregnancy weight... that means I STILL have 30 lbs to loose. And I thought I was going to be able to do this by October... it looks like our kids are going to be a little more separated than we would like them to be. But, that's the way the cookie crumbles :) On another note, Nick has been super supportive lately. Yesterday we actually did a little mini workout together in our house. I really need to work on my confidence because that was, humiliating? haha. I want to be the best I can for him, and him the best for me.... What can I say? We are working on it.

Jessa's birthday is coming up sooner than later. 1.... 1 years old. As much as it seems like forever ago I brought this little female home from the hospital, it doesn't feel like a whole year has passed. She is growing up, and there is really nothing I can do about it. She is growing out of clothes/shoes/socks/and everything in between. WELCOME TO(EXPENSIVE)PARENTHOOD! I feel like I buy the kid 3 pair of shoes one week because she has non, and the next week I'm out looking for more in a bigger size. The kid completely skipped over 9month size clothing. She lived in 3 month clothes from birth-7months. I bought a whole bunch of 6 month clothes that she has now outgrown and HELLO 12 month clothes! :) I even went so far the other day to buy her 18 month clothing. Talk about clothes looking HUGE! Anyway, this is an extremely long tangent when I wanted to talk about her birthday. We...scratch that...I have decided on a cupcake theme. I know, I know, Really original. But I like it and it's easy to find stuff. I like the idea of the cupcake with one candle on it. It's cute to me, so too bad! I'm in love with her little cupcake outfit I ordered, and am excited to see how everything gets put together.

I'm not sure I can leave without talking about Pintrest. Basically, the newest hottest website that everyone is talking about ;) Pulling visuals from the world wide web and making a collection of boards... what a brilliant idea! I haven't decided what I like more, gathering my ideas or looking at everyone's different styles. Basically, I spent my whole evening lurking around for new DIY ideas and coming up with cute ways to decorate... if that ever happens.

I think that's enough for the night. My eyes are getting sleepy! WONDERFUL! This has been a good post, considering I haven't posted about "nothing" in awhile now.